Today I learned

JavaScript ORM's suck

Update (Dec 2019): Node.js now supports top-level await which would solve the pain point outlined in this article. This article was written in 2015 with Node.js v0.12 in mind.

Consider this scenario: there's a strange bug in production's data that you need to inspect. In Rails, you can tell rails console: "show me all project IDs that are active and made by users that never logged in" like so:

pry(main)> User.where(last_signed_in: null)
  .map { |u| }
  .pluck :id

This may not be the most efficient way to do it, but some situations are urgent and will call for one-offs like these.

In Node.js, you'll probably do something like this:

> User.where({ last_signed_in: null })
  .fetch().then(function (users) {
    return Promise.all({
  .then(function(projects) {
    return {

Ah, granted that promises and ES6 (fat arrows) would make this better, but still...

You have just read JavaScript ORM's suck, written on February 15, 2015. This is Today I Learned, a collection of random tidbits I've learned through my day-to-day web development work. I'm Rico Sta. Cruz, @rstacruz on GitHub (and Twitter!).

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